38.6 months

September 18 marked 38.6 months (3 years, 2 months, 18 days) since I first started taking Tagrisso. Why is 38.6 months significant? Because it is the median overall survival in the FLAURA study, a landmark study (2014-16) comparing Tagrisso and older targeted therapies among patients with advanced non-small cell lung cancer, EGFR mutation, and no prior treatment. 279 patients received Tagrisso and 277 people received an older drug (in addition, all patients received at least one dose of a trial drug). Nearly 58% of patients had died when data collection stopped. However, patients in the Tagrisso group lived nearly 7 months longer (median) than the control group.

When Leland and I initially read that number – 38.6 months – in the Tagrisso promotional materials, we were stunned. This was supposed to be good news? The median age in the FLAURA study was 64 and at the time (August 2022), I had just turned 50. But still, it was a sobering statistic. For the longest time, I didn't feel like I could plan more than a few weeks ahead (particularly when I kept being readmitted to the hospital with recurring pulmonary emboli), much less a year or three years or more.

Yet here I am: I’ve crossed the median and every day, I am heading further toward the right side of the curve. I feel more confident about planning and thinking a couple years into the future -- like our next sabbatical 2 years from now! By the grace of God and advancements in medical research, Tagrisso is still working its magic. Without it, I would not be here.

It seems fitting that on Friday the 19th, Lily and I went to The Lumineers concert at the Phillies stadium. We share a love of this band. These lines from their song, Stubborn Love, always resonate with me: "It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all. The opposite of love's indifference....So keep your head up, my love." I felt like the evening was a celebration of living fully, living out loud and intentionally in a world where, as Frederick Buechner wrote, "beautiful and terrible things will happen." It was such as joyful evening. I'm still reveling in it, and keeping my head up.