Tomorrow I will go home after 13 days and nights in the hospital, 10 of them in ICU. Leland is driving me back with supplemental oxygen (if needed) and there will be oxygen at home when we arrive. I've lost 10 lbs. and a lot of muscle. I get winded walking around the hospital room. But I am getting stronger and feeling better every day! Most of the day I haven't needed any oxygen.
The song that keeps coming to mind is Freedom. I can’t say I’ve ever been able to move my body like Jon Batiste and his entourage—and I probably never will, no matter how strong my lungs are—but the song captures how I feel on the inside.
I’ve also been reflecting on Christian Brady's writings on the Psalms and lament. They offer “a healthy model for our own journey through grief: cry to God, lament, confess our faith, call God to action, and praise God.” Excerpts from Psalm 86 resonated with me:
Hear me, LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.
You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
abounding in love to all who call to you.
Hear my prayer, LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
When I am in distress, I call to you,
because you answer me….
Teach me your way, LORD,
that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths,
from the realm of the dead….
Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.
***
I can't really say that I have any enemies (or frenemies, for that matter), but I am tremendously grateful to my friends and family, as well as the doctors, nurses, and other healthcare professionals, for being signs of God's goodness during the lowest, scariest time in my life.
Praising our good God with you, Esther!!! For healing you and bringing you thus far. Love those moves on the Freedom video. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yeah, do not attempt those moves at home!
DeleteRejoicing with you! ~ Kathleen and Rick
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are well enough to go home, Esther! Here’s to your continued healing. Matt and I keep rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteYippee!
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Classic State College to run into you yesterday.
DeleteSo glad to hear you are heading home soon! That is a great pace of recovery -- keep climbing those [metaphorical] mountains! M&M&S&A
ReplyDeleteIt’s wonderful the three of you will together again under the same roof!! Please don’t overdo when you first get home—you’re going to be super tuckered. Godspeed! - Leah W.
ReplyDeleteWent out for a first walk (with oxygen) today. VERY slow.
DeleteGreat news!
ReplyDeleteSafe journey & see you when you get home! Wooohooo! 🥳
ReplyDeleteCannot imagine how good it will feel to be home.
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you, sis!! And thanks for those inspiring psalm excerpts! (Andy)
ReplyDeleteLovely post. So glad that you will be home soon. Enjoy the ride.🎉🎉🎉
ReplyDeleteHappy you get to go home. We know what that feeling is like. Enjoy the ride and take it all in
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteEsther, thank you for sharing your journey with us via this blog. I am so glad to hear you are home and being cared for. I have recently walked with one of my best friends through his cancer experience and have seen friends and family rally in miraculous ways. We want to be available to you and your family as well. You are loved! Welcome home! Terry & Kendra Yoder
ReplyDeleteThank you! I appreciate it.
Delete